Flicks wall - read some of Stan's screenplays
Stay tuned for the latest updates and catch Stan's hot short stories in the Cleis Press collections: I is for Indecent, F is for Fetish, Caught Looking, Hide and Seek, She's On Top, Cross Dressing, and the Pretty Things Press releases: Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z, Vol. II and Sex and Candy

Stan has written many screenplays, none of which has yet made it on to the big or small screen. His most successful projected was Romeo Loves Jane - which was a finalist in the prestigious Chesterfield Awards. Here's the synopsis, and if you steal it - look out -it's registered with the WGA and copyright protected. If you're interested - contact me so we can do lunch and deal. Romeo Loves Jane is a romantic comedy screenplay. I have sold several pornplays, including Cunt, The Sexbomber and Aladdin's Lump. Unfortunately the production company went belly-up (or was it face-down?) so the rights reverted back to me. So if you're in the market for intelligent porn with just the right amount of plot to interest couples who aren't afraid to get down and dirty with some raunchy humor and sexy satire thrown in, contact me and we can do lunch in the Valley.

Here's the Synopsis of Romeo loves Jane


It's a Romantic Comedy Where the Melodrama of Classic Literature Meets the Outrageous Scandal of Tabloid Journalism

TARZAN'S JANE has fallen in love with JULIET's ROMEO... Now Tarzan really has something to yell about.

It's the scandal of the century. Literary characters are supposed to be well-behaved, do what their authors tell them and not go around having affairs with characters from other novels. The public wants to know, "What's gone wrong with our fiction?"

Enter our protagonist, the world's sleaziest tabloid reporter, Nick the Nose. He's tops in his field, the main muckraker. There's no low he won't stoop to in search of an exclusive. He specializes in digging up dirt on celebrities using high tech surveillance, disguises, bribery, blackmail and the occasional strong arm tactic to give the public the dirty truth - preferably with revealing pictures. Lately, Nick has been fighting burn-out, his conscience tormented by the suicide of a famous literary ladykiller he exposed as a homosexual. Nick needs a juicy cheating-heart scandal to get him back on track. He suspects Romeo Loves Jane is the one, so he alerts his favorite snitch, Rita the barmaid at the Globe Bar and Grill, to keep an eye out for any unusual goings on at the historic tavern.

And are there ever unusual events at the Globe. Dead authors and characters coexist in the present day, just like movie directors and film stars. Shakespeare drowns his sorrows with Tarzan's pal, Cheetah the talking chimp. Rita tips off Nick to the spectacle. He sets up surveillance disguised as a drunk. Nick discovers that Romeo and Jane have formed an alliance with Big Chief Ebert Siskel, a two-headed witch doctor film critic who loves to change plotlines in search of two thumbs up reviews. Further, Nick learns that Edgar Rice Burroughs has sent Tarzan to Verona to kill Romeo.

Nick the Nose smells mega scoop - the crime of the century. He hotfoots it to Verona, only to find Romeo has said goodbye to Juliet and is living in the jungle with Jane. Tarzan also arrives too late, bruised and broken from swinging from balcony to balcony. Jilted Juliet deflects Tarzan's murderous attentions, nursing the apeman's wounds. Eager to replace Romeo, Juliet seduces Tarzan, convincing him to stay in Verona. To celebrate getting rid of the pesky Montague, the Capulet family hosts a masquerade ball where Shakespearean characters dress up as famous celebrities - Juliet is Madonna, Tybalt is Michael Jackson, Lady Capulet is Cher, Lord Capulet is Sylvestor Stallone's Rocky, Mercutio is Elvis, and Tarzan is - well, Tarzan's the same old savage Tarzan.

Nick observes as the party unfolds. Lord Capulet takes Tarzan aside, questioning the apeman's intentions. Romeo's loyal friend Mercutio intervenes, letting slip that he knows about Tarzan and Juliet's bedroom antics. Tarzan explodes with rage. He kills the Elvised Mercutio for besmirching Juliet. His trademark yell receding into the distance, Tarzan flees, the militia and many fancy-dressed celebrities on his heels.

Juliet is heartbroken at losing another lover. On her famous balcony she decides to jump to her death. Nick waits below, his camera and tape recorder recording her suicide speech. Juliet's tears splash on Nick. His cynical resolve melts. He sees a chance to redeem himself for the previous suicide he caused and all the lives he's ruined. Despite the fact that he could scoop the competition with the exclusive story of the teen starlet's demise, Nick convinces Juliet not to jump.

In this pivotal moment, Nick ceases being a sleazy tabloid reporter who capitalizes on sorrow and tragedy. He realizes he's got a bigger story to write about how true love can triumph over greed and banner headlines. Overjoyed at saving Juliet's life, he decides to help all the wayward characters find happiness. A chase through numerous novels and movies ensues as Nick the Nose battles the authors and Big Chief Ebert Siskel.

Romeo Loves Jane climaxes in the Casablanca fog. With the Lisbon-bound plane sputtering in the background, Rick Blaine tells Romeo that Jane's leaving Casablanca with Rick. Rick and Jane have fallen in love, and he's fed up seeing his girl go off with someone else. Before Romeo can protest, in swings Tarzan looking to kill Romeo and carry off Jane. Rick shoots the raging apeman dead. Jane explains to Romeo that she knows he really didn't love her, that he only truly loves Juliet. Nick arrives and Rick gives the Cafe Americain keys to him. Nick tells Romeo that Juliet's waiting for him at the cafe. Rick and Jane leave Casablanca, leaving Romeo and Juliet to reunite, free from their meddling parents, the authors and Big Chief Ebert Siskel.

Nick takes over the famed Cafe Americain, but he's not happy. He's helped everyone find true love and has quit the seedy tabloid business, but he's lonely. As he listens to Sam's smoky piano-playing he realizes how blind he's been. He's uncovered hundreds of scandals but he couldn't see that his true love has all along been right under his nose. He immediately invites Rita to Casablanca to run the Cafe with him. She accepts. When she steps from the plane they rush into each others arms, a two thumbs up happy ending for Nick and Rita.


"Dressing well and looking good are essential. A meaning in life is not." . . . Oscar Wilde

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